The Ladi Doth Protest Too Much

Barrett and I just bought our tickets to go visit my family for Thanksgiving. I was writing a little note to let them know the travel plans and sent it to Barrett to read. My note was a little strange, no more than my family expects from me, but Barrett..well…he has a knack for taking the joke as far as possible. This is my email:

Dear Family,

The tickets have been purchased, Barrett and I will be arriving on a doorstep near you in just one short month. Upon our arrival, we will make ourselves at home, eat ourselves silly, possibly work it off, possibly attend a football game and generally make a nuisance of ourselves. Please plan accordingly.

Love, Barrett and Beth

This is the “edited” version he sent back to me.

Dear Family,

The tickets have been purchased, Barrett and I will be arriving on a doorstep near you in just one short month. We may or may not arrive in a basket or a comically oversized UPS box. Upon our arrival, we will eat ourselves silly, drink ourselves unconscious, possibly work it off at a gym, possibly attend a football game, probably harass either/both teams and their fans at random intervals, most likely get into a fight, hypothetically have to shiv someone to survive in jail, potentially need bail money and generally make a nuisance of ourselves. Please plan accordingly.

Hugs, kisses, left, and right hooks,

Barrett and Beth

I really think I prefer his version. My family, now…..